Red flag check

These 10 questions are waiting for you

For each one you answer “Never”, “Sometimes” or “Often”. There is no right or wrong – just your honest impression.

1. Does this person check your phone, your messages or where you are?
2. Do they decide who you are allowed to see?
3. Do they put you down or make fun of you – in private or in front of others?
4. Do they blame you for their anger or their problems?
5. Do you feel you have to be careful so that no argument starts?
6. Do they deny things that happened until you doubt your own memory?
7. Do they pressure you with jealousy, silence or withdrawing affection?
8. Do they control your money or keep you from working?
9. Have they threatened you, intimidated you or destroyed things?
10. Have they pushed, held, hit you or pressured you into sex?

What your result looks like

Your answers add up to one of three levels:

Few warning signs

Based on your answers, the relationship shows few of the typical warning signs. Still, trust your feelings – if something feels wrong, that matters.

Some warning signs

Some of the behaviour you describe limits you or makes you feel unsure. Talk to someone you trust or get advice from a support service.

Clear warning signs

What you describe are clear signs of controlling behaviour. It is not your fault. A support service can help you understand your situation and plan next steps – free and confidential.

For the questions about threats and violence, even a single “Sometimes” counts as a clear warning sign.